LouShy's Blog

Speak Out Against Hate Speech

Mon, 02 Jun 2008 02:17:02 GMT

Book Trailer

Sun, 11 May 2008 05:20:50 GMT

The Impotence of Proofreading By Taylor Mali

Fri, 09 May 2008 04:12:12 GMT

This made me laugh and I thought I'd share the joy.

What to work on next?

Fri, 09 May 2008 03:04:02 GMT

I’ve finished my WIP and it’s being read by my critique partners and beta reader. Advantage of a beta reader is she hasn’t seen the morphing bits and pieces that the critique partners have and has a fairly fresh pair of eyes.

While they are doing that I wrote the synopsis and a query letter and I’m letting it all sit for awhile so I can come back and revise with(desperately thinking of a different way to say this, crud, oh well) a fresh pair of eyes.

So what to work on next? Life is definitely busy. We are finalizing the plans for Murder in the Grove. I’m beta reading for a friend. The summer is packed full of writers retreats, weddings and family functions. Plus summer movies are a big draw for me. So plenty to do but… what to write next.

With this latest finished WIP I now have two first books in series done. BNI is the first in the Amazon books and RNR is the first in the Repeater series. I thought I’d go back to the second Amazon book, Some Assembly Required, which I started but I’m not really excited about it. I could write the second in the Repeater series, For Peat’s Sake – what’s with the three word titles? – which I am excited about. Or a total third option would be to go back four books to my half finished first book in the Avengers series, No Longer Hiding.

Crap, they’re great titles, I love them but I might throw a fourth word in there somewhere just to mix it up.

The problem with working on a second book in a series is what if the first book doesn’t sale? But I don’t want to wait until something sales to write. It might take me several more years before I get a request for a full (so far I’ve only got requests for partials) let alone sale my first book.

Anyone have advice? Should I work on the one I’m excited about, finish the one I started or dig out the old material?

Slide

Wed, 30 Apr 2008 05:32:20 GMT

What is up with the word slide? It's past tense is slid. Slip becomes slipped. Climb becomes climbed. But does slide become slided? Nope. Weird. So who cares, right? I'm revising and I realized I used slid about 400 times. He slid his hand down her back. She slid her tongue into his mouth. The blood slid down the wall, etc.

No problem. A little <Alt> <E> <F> ( Edit -> Fine) and start replacing a few of them but Word's thesaurus so totally sucks. I want a old fashioned, sectioned by usage rather than definition, thesaurus. A book I can flip through. One that knows that I can use climbed, moved, ran, floated, dripped, caressed, stroked, thrust, pushed, pulled, grappled, hell even slithered instead of slid.

On the topic of Grammar.... My local chapter has a new blog cbcrwa.wordpress.com. Once a week our resident Grammar Queen (talented and funny) will answer grammar questions on the blog. Her first post is up now. Just so happens that she answered my question about compound adjectives. Slide over and take a gander.

A short story

Thu, 24 Apr 2008 19:30:19 GMT

Here’s a short story I wrote. Enjoy

My husband Eric travels a great deal for his job. Which I expected, I mean the man speaks four languages fluently.

It has its draw backs. I miss him when he’s gone. But a bonus is when our schedules line up and I can go with him. Then we always manage to squeeze in a few days after business meetings to go sightseeing.

I’ve seen most of Europe and last time we went to Australia.

Eric didn’t want me to come this time. “Kelly, you know how different their culture is. You wouldn’t be able to hold my hand in public and imagine if you actually kissed me on the street.”

Okay so I’m expressive. So what. If you had a gorgeous husband like Eric, with beautiful eyes and strong hands…well, when my love for him builds I can’t not touch him. But please, it’s not like I maul him or even grab his cute ass. Unless we are alone and in the kitchen then all bets are off.

“Besides. It’s really hot there.”

I hate the heat. Skiing, fireplaces, warm fuzzy socks, these are a few of my favorite things.

“I’d behave. I know the dangers and-“

“Babe, you wouldn’t be the only one who’d have to constantly be on guard.” He wrapped his arms around my stomach and pulled me down to the bed next to the open suit case. I rubbed my chin against his smooth cheek and sniffed his after shave.

We’ve been together for almost eight years and married for five. I figured at some point we’d grow out of the holding-hands-in-public, lighting-up-the-room-with-our-smiles stage. But it feels far off in the future, if at all.

Eric said, “I’d get pissed the first time you reached for me and then flinched away as you remembered. That would drive me ape shit.” He sighed.

I didn’t want him to feel bad.

Where do Eric and Kelly live? Where are they afraid to go? While you ponder that, we’ll have an intermission.

I’ve been trying to remember my first creative endeavor, writing wise. I know quite a few authors that have been writing since they could read. Angie Abderhalden wrote Star Trek fan fiction in grade school. My own seven year old wrote a seven page mystery involving Ruff Ruffman and Scooby Do. I wrote a short story for Freshman speech class that finaled in some obscure local contest but I realized the other day that there was something earlier.

In eighth grade English I read my first Shakespeare play, Romeo and Juliet. My favorite play is Henry the Fifth. We were given the assignment to rewrite a scene in modern language. I’m sure it was to help us learn the meanings and rhythm of Shakespeare English but I thought that was boring and worst, everyone would pick the balcony scene and have street slang.

Back to the story

“Maybe we can go in a few years once the political unrest settles.” I rubbed Eric’s arms and leaned back to kiss his cheek. “But I’m totally holding you to taking me to Spain over Christmas.”

“Babe, if I thought it was safe-“

“Eric. I’m okay. Yeah, I’ve always wanted to go to America….

Last intermission: Are they Muslim or Hindu? Do they think people will treat them differently because of the way they look?

I picked the wedding scene. I set it in the Deep South in 1940 and Romeo was black and Juliet was white. I got an A. I’m sure my teacher was astounded by my sensitivity at such a young age. But to me, no big deal. My sister married a black man in 1989 and there was still prejudice and controversy and concern. My dad was a cop and my mom was tolerant of all the strays he would bring home. I was raised to believe that all people are basically good, that you can’t tell anything by appearance and it’s not our place to judge. I’d like to think I listened to their example.

And if you were going to San Francisco or Boston, I’d make you take me but…It’ll be fine.”

“You’re the best husband in the world,” Eric said.

“Ah, aren’t you the sweet talker. Come kiss your man.”

Nope. Eric and his husband Kelly live in Denmark, where Gay marriage has been legal since 1989. Gay: the new black.

3d Characters - Part Two

Mon, 21 Apr 2008 20:43:11 GMT

With Character Development we hear that heroes and heroines need to be flawed, deep, 3d, larger than life, and yet realistic.

There is no wrong way to create a character and everyone does it differently. The following is a way to check your characters out. 3d is a dimensional reference.

2^nd Dimension: What they do and where they live. My biggest tip here is to not stop at this level. Jules Cassidy in not just an FBI agent that lives in Boston. You are not just a writer that lives in the Northwest. And best of all. This is the ‘face’ we show the world and the underbelly of the beast is often such a contrast. Mysterious characters and secondary characters don’t usually go past this level. We see glimpses of Ranger’s other dimensions but part of his allure is the mystery.

3^rd Dimension: This is background story and only needed on main characters. Do not give us a third dimension on the waiter. In a lot of ways it’s often the 3^rd dimension that explains the contrast between the 1^st and 2^nd. Stephanie Plum’s aversion to guns. Belle’s (Beauty and the Beast) addiction to books. Again the little details make this real to the reader but one or two sharp details in a brief explanation is plenty.

4^th Dimension: Texture. His flaws or insecurities or fears. Make them extreme and then torture them by making them face that fear, overcome that flaw.

5^th Dimension: Substance. Is your hero macho? Was he raised by a house full of women? Is he a devote Christian? This level is only needed for the hero and heroine.

Have you ever played a RPG? Role Playing Game? And no, cheerleader and football star doesn’t count. In RPGs you pick your character’s moral Alignment. Are you a bad guy or good guy? A white-hatter? But the best RPGs go into greater detail and have more ‘grey’ options.

Principled – Superman, Captain America (no lying, killing or torture). Scrupulous – Dirty Harry, Dare Devil (good guy that breaks the rules when he has to). Unprincipled – The X-man Gambit, Average Joe (looks out for self and avoids getting involved). Anarchist – Raphael from The Ninja Turtles (Dislikes authority figures, doesn’t work well with a group). Aberrant – Wolverine (isn’t above doing wrong to get what he thinks is right, torture for information, has his own code of honor). Diabolic – Dr. Octopus from Spiderman (Megalomaniacs, trusts no one). Miscreant – The tongue flicking creepy dude in silence of the lambs, Hannibal Lector (kill for pleasure).

Want to hear a group of geeks fight? Tell them you think Wolverine is Scrupulous and the Hulk is Aberrant and sit back to watch the fur fly.

So 5^th Dimensional characters. Hmm. I’m off to make a good-looking, construction worker, that was jilted at the altar, has an aversion to blood, and whose scrupulous behavior has gotten her in trouble. Again.

3d Characters - Part One

Sun, 20 Apr 2008 22:22:27 GMT

I’ve been reading Donald Maas’s Writing the Breakout Novel. And its Character section got me thinking. Often writing instructors or how-to articles talk in generalities about aspects of writing. Lately the RWR has been full of such articles. How do you create a page turner? Use fast pacing, hooks and cliff hangers. And of course several authors describe or give opinions on the subject matter. Which assures the reader that it’s just as confusing to them as it is to the rest of us. But the techniques, the actual bolts and tools we can use to alter the pace of a passage? Forget about it.

With Character Development we hear that heroes and heroines need to be flawed, deep, 3d, larger than life, and yet realistic. Maas’s section, though skimming the surface, had some great ideas.

There is no wrong way to create a character and everyone does it differently. The following is a way to check your characters out. 3d is a dimensional reference. One dimensional items are flat. Imagine looking at a line. This represents the surface of your character. His looks. The assumptions others make based on these looks. He’s blonde and we assume a certain IQ level.

The second dimension is still flat. Imagine looking at the top of a box, all you see is a square. This is life details of your character. Where he lives, what she does for a living. Still surface stuff but not what a stranger would know.

The third dimension. You now realize that the square has sides, is a box, forms a cube. We now see the overall picture. This is the first level of depth and contains background, backstory.

Then we add shading. The shadows, yes but also the texture. This is where the infamous flaws lie.

If you think were done then you’re wrong. What is the cube made of? Wood? Rubber? This is important to know to describe how outside forces will affect the inside. This is the needed contrast required to tell the characters apart. Hopefully you only have one wooden cube. Perhaps the rest of your characters are rubber balls and cones made of twine. Okay I’m smirking big time at the comparisons. And all my generalities.

1^st Dimension: What do they look like? Describe them through your other characters. Do not use mirrors, unless extreme vanity is one of his shadows. Do not internally muse about their looks. If you have to wait to describe them until another character’s pov, then wait. Or don’t describe them at all. At least blatantly. If a hot chick, who won’t give anyone else the time of day, stops and stares at your hero then we know he’s really something to look at. So technique number one, use other characters pov or actions to describe the main character physically.

You want the reader to imagine your character in their minds? Leave something for their imaginations. If you do all the work, provide every detail, physically describe until there could be no doubt on exactly how many pores he has, then the reader won’t remember him. We don’t need to. It’s all there in the book. Use instead a few strong descriptive words. The other edge of this deadly sword is harping on a single trait. He has blue eyes, his eyes are the color of sky, his powerful aqua eyes….blah, and yawn but after a few more purple references to his eyes we’re ready to puke or way worse, we’re ready to put the book down and not pick it back up. Janet Evanovich’s Ranger. Robert Crais’s Joe Pike. Suzanne Brockmann’s Jules Cassidy. Short, decisive descriptions.

I'll post the rest of this article tomorrow. What are some of your favorite characters and how are they described?

Friday Mail

Fri, 18 Apr 2008 23:58:11 GMT

What's up with getting rejections in the mail on Fridays? About two weeks ago I got a lovely, 'no thank you' from Leah Hultenschmidt from Dorchester. Then today I got a hand written note from Laura Bradford of the Bradford Literary Agency. Pretty cool that it's hand written and this is what she had to say:

Dear Amberly,
Thanks so much for sending me a sample of Bravery Not Included. Unfortunately, after careful consideration I have decided to pass on the project. You've got a great premise here and the writing is solid, but I found I had a hard time getting hooked by the story at the outset. I wish you all the best of luck!
Laura

Leah also commented on the interesting and intriguing plot. Time to research hooks.

If anyone is interested I'd be willing to post my query letter that I used for both of them. Let me know.

Major Deal

Tue, 15 Apr 2008 14:47:36 GMT

From Publishers Lunch
Cooking
Writers of double James Beard award winner (and 2007 IACP Julia Child Award) THE LEE BROS. SOUTHERN COOKBOOK, Ted Lee and Matt Lee's next two books, to Pam Krauss at Clarkson Potter, in a major deal, at auction, by David McCormick at McCormick & Williams Literary Agency.

"major deal" $500,000 and up

See I need to be writing cook books. Except I can't cook. Do a little baking now and again but nothing worth a blue ribbon or a 'major deal'.

A cartoon for fellow writers and MMORPGers

Wed, 09 Apr 2008 19:33:05 GMT

In a former life I played World of Warcraft. I had to give it up for the writing. Oh, the sacrifices we make. This might not make a whole lot of since to those who don't play computer games but I wanted to share. My husband reads this comic and we both got a laugh out of it.

Real Life Comics - Patch Day

If you could redesign your own life what changes would you make on Patch Day?

Tue, 08 Apr 2008 05:57:05 GMT

I have odd taste in music. It's not that I listen to both punk and country, which I do. It's that they all tend to be things you can sing to and that tells a story. Hell Yeah by Montgomery Gentry has plenty of attitude and you can't tell me that Eminem isn't a musical story teller. My fav is Lose Yourself. And we all know how addicted to Fiction I am.

I listen to the local 100.3 the X. I have to roll my eyes at the immature dj's and flip channels on occasion but a new song caught my attention and stuck in my head until I tracked it down. No, I'm not saying how much time I waisted. <See previous post about page total and understand my lack of guilt.>

Then I found it. Addicted by Saving Abel. This is their first album and though the songs aren't complex, and other songs on the album are more story-heavy, there is just something about this song that really gets me going.

Here are some of the lyrics. Yeah, I've got issues.

I’m so addicted to
All the things you do
When you’re going down on me
In between the sheets
All the sounds you make
With every breath you take
It’s unlike anything
When you’re loving me

It’s actually saying he wants more to a relationship then the sex. That it needs to mean something for them to survive all the effort required to stick it out.

Saving Abel has some live YouTube videos up which are absolute crap. The quality of sound is just terrible and doesn’t do them justice. So I posted my own and added some pretty pics to look at. A little eye candy for guys and girls. They don’t have anything to do with the song and everyone has clothes on. I’ve been researching skaters and skate boarding for my WIP so some of that is in there as well as my odd sense of humor. The last picture is a depiction of what it takes to turn men and women on.

Here's the link

Cyber Cookies for Everyone

Mon, 07 Apr 2008 03:10:37 GMT

We've got to celebrate! Not only am I this close (holds up thumb and forefinger) to being done with RNR, my WIP, but I wrote eleven pages yesterday and twelve today. Hot Dang!

Also, in the April issue of the RWR, Romance Writers Report, there was a four page article on Fanfiction. The author of the article had interviewed several authors that have fanfiction forum on their web pages or dedicated fanfiction sites about their characters. Meg Cabot, J.D. Robb's In Death series, and Sherilyn Kenyon. She also talked about her early writing of Jane Austen Fan Fiction. Jane Austen! Why? *shrug* to each her own.

But I did pick up a new Fanfic term. Mary Sue story: where the author inserts themselves in the fanfiction. Living out a dream on paper. The corresponding male term is Marty Stu.

Hmmm

Sat, 05 Apr 2008 05:31:42 GMT

From the New York Times.
"Robert S. Miller, the founding publisher of Hyperion, the adult books division of the Walt Disney Company, would leave his post of 17 years to lead this new, as yet unnamed entity."

Low to no advances but 50/50 split on the profit? Hmmm. It'll be interesting to see how he does.

The full article is here.

I'll have to post something soon that doesn't require a lot of thought process.

*off to find more eye candy*

Idependent Bookstores

Thu, 03 Apr 2008 05:37:45 GMT

Buy Local.

This article in the Boise Weekly talks about the writer's hunt for a good book store. Great stats and history in the article about national trends on independent books stores.

Boise Weekly - Idaho's Only Alternative: Features: Feature: Home for Bookworms

A bit long but worth the read. I like the sarcastic vernacular the Boise Weekly uses for it’s articles.

High Points especially for fellow Boiseans.

Angie Abderhalden works with me on the Popular Fiction Association Board. I went to her author signing and have been to other author events at Rediscovered Bookshop. The clerks there are great. Ross is a non-fiction, political science buff and is great for those types of recommendations. Kelly is their Romance book guru. All of them are helpful but if you get a kindred spirit to talk Fantasy books with or YA, double cool.

I’ve noticed that most Indie stores have specialties. Vista Book Gallery is predominately Mysteries and Rediscovered, since Bruce and Laura are such big fans, is heavy in the Science Fiction/Fantasy.

The largest independent bookstore, actually the largest bookstore period, I’ve ever been in was Powell’s in Portland. You get a map as you go in or you’ll get lost, no joke. Neat store but woefully understocked in Genre fiction, having only a single bookshelf for romance novels and little more for Science Fiction books. But you want physics or art books? Holy Cow!

One thing that Boise Weekly didn’t cover was that Rediscovered buys and sells new and used books. For those of us with Fiction Addiction it’s nice to exchange our books for a discount on future purchases.

What are your favorite ways to buy books?

Chess as Education Strategy

Thu, 20 Mar 2008 07:38:21 GMT

I was surprised to see this article on the MSN main web page.

Chess as Education Strategy in Idaho

I live just outside of Boise and my daughter starts second grade next year. This doesn't surprise me in that Idaho has great advantages to our school system. Music, drama and art programs are extensive. The popular kids aren't just in sports but choir and band or plays. We have some of the best Advance Placement programs anywhere. Only the wages we pay our hard working teachers suck.

What surprises me is that this drew the attention of the New York Times. It's easy to feel a bit isolated from the world here. Most people couldn't find Idaho on a map. It's some where in the middle. But I'm not one to talk. I'm not all together sure where Iowa is. *Shrug*

Eye Candy

Fri, 07 Mar 2008 06:10:44 GMT

Two male artist with very different focus. Both extremely talented. Luis Royo does fantasy and Sci Fi art. He has a general theme of beauty and the beast running through most of his subject mater. The other artist Michael Breyette delves into a totally different fantasy. His theme is natural beauty and grace. I did not provide links to either because they are both very explicit. VERY. But the two pics behind the cut are safe

Luis Royo

Michael Breyette

As Yet Untitled

Sun, 24 Feb 2008 18:48:49 GMT

I’ve been working on a character concept, as yet untitled. I’m not taking notes or searching book indexes or anything like that. I’m pacing, and mumbling and reading and, on occasion, I laugh at myself and start over. We all know how we work without actually creating new words or revising old. That mental process of creating. Essential, even if we are the only ones that understand its importance. But this isn’t about working methods.

I struggle making my characters believe different things. They look different, have unique backstories, different mannerisms and speech patterns and even their fears and internal conflicts – different. But they believe what I believe. Racism is wrong. Education is important. All the same as each other and all me. And the Villains? They believe the opposite. They are racists and bigots and think women are less. They all tend to be arrogant and they believe very strongly that what they are doing is the best/right thing. The last is just fine but how realistic is the rest?

Some great fiction I’ve read recently had no villains or external conflict. It was two people trying to fall in love that believed different things strongly and yet both of them were right. Or rather, neither of them were wrong. Heck, though I understood both sides I didn’t agree with either one. And it so totally rocked.

So the vague rolling concept is how do I outfit my characters with beliefs that are different from each other and different from me without feeling the need that they must overcome this belief/outlook? And in the process I’ve realized I’m a big concept and generalities kind of person and others are method and details. Surprised? Not so much.

People are given knowledge. We are told by people we trust basic ‘truths’ that we absorb as fact. You think that thing you’re wearing over your chest is a shirt because as some point someone told you it was. So I can create a staunch, conservative, republican that is methodical and detail oriented as long as those things are fundamentals of their backstories. But when I’m writing them -- their POV’s – I’ve got to work on keeping it straight forward, no meandering. Make it sound like them. Not me writing them. Hmm.

And the most powerful villains are the ones that lead us astray. We believe in them because they are realistic and right and good, except that they kill and mutilate. Or for the non-psychotics, they are people who believe they are doing right, and may not realize the damage they are causing. Like mother-in-laws.

What do you think? Got any thoughts that might help me hammer this out? Could you recommend a how to book that might help?

More Exposition

Tue, 12 Feb 2008 07:23:45 GMT

kemcco posted a comment to my exposition series that I’ve been thinking about ever since. Here it is:

Great series. My only problem is that I have never read any of the novels you use as examples. Sometimes that makes me wonder what's going on. Perhaps I'm the only one on Earth who has never read a Harry Potter novel. ;)

Mission Objective: Convince Kemcco to read Harry Potter Series. Mission Status: Active.

I know Ken IRL. He writes Sci Fi and is a computer geek. My type totally! So I asked my Hubby for ideas or books that would work better.

“Star Wars?” He said.

“Star Wars so totally cheats with the scrolling white text at the beginning. And Star Trek uses their mission statement—“

“Prime Directive.”

“Yeah that.”

So was this a Sci Fi thing? Perhaps, as I said earlier, SF readers are use to extensive World Building and are patient with it.

Have you seen the movie Serenity? After we are first introduced to the villain – well played by Chiwetel Ejiofor – there is a very long single camera shot following the members of the crew through the Firefly ship. Total exposition. Character names. Check. Character’s occupation and a bit of backstory. Check. Joss Whedon showing off. Check.

Use of Names:

In sitcoms and movies, the actors call each other by name right up front; introducing them to the audience. Normal people don’t say a person’s name as often or in the same situations. But to establish who people are, their name is used clearly and at the beginning. Soaps with their huge casts and revolving story lines do it and do it well. They will paraphrase earlier plot points and relationship statuses in one sentence, anchoring everyone back into the story and then proceeding. It’s why you can not watch a soap opera for years and come back and pick up like you never left. And it’s also why you can watch a soap and figure out who everyone is and what’s their deal with little effort.

This clip is 4 mins. You don’t have to watch it. But if you do you’ll notice half way through -- but even after each commercial break -- that there is a single sentence recap of where they left you minutes before. The volume level is much higher than the previous clip so be careful.

So back to Ken and actual writing examples. Comic Books are brilliant manipulators of white space. Or rather ad space. The turning points, ah-ha moments, revelations happen in very strategic places. For the big moments (needing plenty of processing time for the reader to gasp and jump to conclusions) it’s the bottom right hand panel. A readers mind goes everywhere in the time it takes to turn a page. For smaller hooks or reveals it is the bottom left panel just before an ad. But best of all is the right panel add, turn the page to find a double panel of the villain or destruction, etc. Here are some examples.

MJ is missing. He goes to their special spot looking for her. Someone says her catch phrase. Then an ad. Plenty of processing time to turn that page before the big reveal.

He goes home only to discover... This is at the bottom of a right hand page...

Gwen Stacy who is supposed to be dead. And an Ad. Processing time.
All Hail the talent of Bendis and Bagley. Story tellers both.

Okay, enough exposition. Sorry it's been awhile since I've posted. Helped put on a writer's conference featuring the very wise and gracious Debra Dixon. I can breath again and might do a few blogs.

Guest Blogger over at Murder in the Grove

Tue, 29 Jan 2008 16:51:58 GMT

L. C. Hayden, one of the authors from Murder in the Grove 2007, is the Guest Blogger on the Murder in the Grove My Space page today. She is talking about speaking as a promotional tool. If you'd like to check it out, go to <http://www.myspace.com/murderinthegrove>

Exposition Part 4 - Clues for the Clueless

Thu, 24 Jan 2008 18:33:33 GMT

Clues are another type of exposition and must follow the same scene requirements. You still have to inform, develop and entertain.

Clues for the Clueless – Clues aren’t just for mysteries. Romance and other character driven stories use little clues to reveal a character’s backstory and motivation.

Harlequin Presents and other category romance are particularly good with this – emotional baggage, hinted at then revealed.

Give the clue dual purpose

Example: J.K. Rowling and Moaning Myrtle from Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.
The mystery? Who is Myrtle?
The presence of a ghost explains why the main characters can use the bathroom to mix polyjuice, an illegal potion, in the bathroom without getting caught.
Moaning Myrtle is a source of amusement flirting with Harry and taunting the others.
Moaning Myrtle was the first child killed by the monster in the Chamber of Secrets.
Ron at one point even says, in regards to why Tom Riddle received an award, “maybe he did something great. Like kill Myrtle.” Which is exactly what he did do.

Blaringly Obvious – In the hopes that readers disregard it as a red herring.

If we know things that make readers stumble, like lack of white space, positioning of clue, etc. We can use it against them.
            Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
At one point the main characters are in Gringgotts Bank. J.K. Rowling describes the contents. A paragraph is backloaded* with the word crown. It’s even at the bottom of a page. Later as Harry is looking for a Crown you can’t help but think about the one in the bank. It purposely stands out to make you worry. The actual crown was mentioned in a list of contents, buried in the middle, in Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince.
            The Monkey’s Raincoat by Robert Crais
During his investigation, Elvis Cole is in an apartment questioning a missing man’s mistress. Robert Crais describes in extra detail a fish tank. Like overly describes. We think it might be important but only with hindsight do we realize what is in the fish tank. The missing man is not in it, obviously. If the clue came later, after we started looking for something that would fit, size wise, a fish tank then the scene wouldn’t have worked. But it’s a clue before we need the clue.
            Ransom by Julie Garwood – One of my all time favorites.
Julie Garwood’s description of a crazy old man and his possessive behavior toward his bag of loot hides the King’s lost treasure.

So red herrings or false clues should be at the end of paragraphs and pages and chapters when at all possible. Bury real clues in heavier passages and in the middle of other details so we naturally skim over them. Hold off tying up any loose ends as long as possible to keep the reader interested.

* A technique taught by the amazing Margie Lawson.

The Ride Along

Wed, 23 Jan 2008 04:43:33 GMT

I've been....Life happened. I've got Clues for the Clueless ready but I'll stagger it a bit before I post.

Saturday night from 8pm till about 1:30 I went on a ride along with Officer Harms. Who, by the way, has a license plate that reads NHARMSWY. First thing he asked me when I got in the patrol car is if I knew how to use a shotgun. Then he should me how to unlock the one kept behind are heads - redneck-pick-up-style - attached to the dividing plexi glass. Then he emptied and reloaded it to verify it was full. One of the listed items on his mental check off list. They share patrol cars and you've got to make sure Joe Schmo didn't leave you without a first aide kit in the trunk, etc.

We took a report from a lady who said her apartment had been broken into and semen left on her bed. Eww.

We responded to a call involving an angry man, a hammer, and a parking boot. And so did four other patrol cars. It was a slow night. Turns out the parking boot people were placing the boots on cars, forcing the owners to pay cash and then pocketing the money without reporting it to their bosses.

We pulled a car over with expired plates that made an illegal turn and ended up arresting both the driver - driving with out insurance (second offense) and driving with a suspended license - and the passenger - he had a warrant out for his arrest for probation violation. We had assistance from a TAC team, which just means there was two of them. Then I saw the inside of the jail's garage while Harms took the them in to be processed.

The rest of the time I asked questions and watched while he fiddled with the computer. I did a ride along back in 89 or 90 and they definitely didn't have computers. The other cops were friendly and the civilians were curious about me. Then it started to snow. And things got even quieter.

It was a great experience and if I ever did it again I'd aim for a Friday or Saturday night, any officer assigned to the valley and summer time.

Ride Along

Thu, 17 Jan 2008 17:24:28 GMT

As part of the Citizen Police Academy you are given the opportunity to do a ride along with one of the patrol officers. Due to scheduling conflicts and my very specific request for a weekend night, I am finally going on my ride along on Saturday. Officer Harms called to finalize details. Part of the conversation went like this. All of this I learned during the actual class.

"You'll need to bring your i.d. so we can verify before I take you out in the patrol car." Officer Harms.

"Okay. Do I need anything else?" Me.

"Do you have a vest?"

Brief but silent pause from me. "Vest? Do you mean to keep warm or ... like a bullet--"

"Yeah. A bullet proof vest."

"No I don't - do I need one?"

Too long of a hesitation on his part that I felt the need to fill with babbling.

"If something comes up I'm sure I'll stay in the car. Will something come--" The shooting that killed one officer and wounded a second back in 97'? Two people were on ride alongs, out of the patrol cars and saved by the mellee by a fast thinking cop that pulled them to safety.

"Well, it's not likely."

"Do I need one?"

"Some people have them. I was just wondering." The last officer involved shooting happened close to the Oregon border. One of the two cops in the shoot out had a ride along with them.

Okay. "Nope, I don't have one."

"Then the only other thing you'll need is to bring warm clothing. Gloves. Stuff. In case were out processing anything for very long."

"Okay."

Wish me luck.

Exposition Part 3

Wed, 16 Jan 2008 20:54:45 GMT

Every book, movie and television has exposition. Once I started putting this workshop together it was amazing how exposition stood out. It was like buying a new car. You never noticed before you bought that white dodge mini-van just how many other white dodge mini-vans there were. And suddenly you see them everywhere. Expositions like that with me. If you are reading and get to a passage and think, wow, that’s some great exposition; feel free to share with us. Just post it as a comment.

Before we get to some useful techniques:

When Heavy Exposition can’t be avoided

Short Fiction – The shorter the stories the more the reader is willing to put up with the cliché ‘exposition city’.
Technology – Sci Fi readers expect more exposition because of world building and technology that might be significantly different than ours. But contemporary romances don’t require explanation and certain well know time periods don’t either. However, just because exposition is needed, doesn’t mean you can get away with boring us.
Not the current norm – Victoria Holt’s Novels and other old Gothic novels started with several chapters of just back story. Yawn. Today’s reader is too busy and has too short of an attention span to slog through that.

Techniques

1. Expo Characters

A. The Geek

Herminoe Granger from Harry Potter

Erckel from Family Matters (T.V. Show)

Cliff Claven (Cheers)

Doc from Meg Cabot’s The Mediator Series

These characters are over the top and the information they give, though purposely not always essential, reveal how other characters respond to the subject or to other characters. In the Philosopher’s Stone, the first years walk into the great hall and Herminoe explains that the ceiling is enchanted. With Herminoe she is telling us about the Great Hall, showing how important information is to her, stressing out Harry and Ron because they don’t know as much as she does, and we relate to her as a person. We are geeks/exports ourselves or know someone who is a geek.

B. The newbie/the boss

Lots of stories start with a change. New kid in school or town. A new job. This gives the opportunity to reveal information in a ‘tour guide mode’.

10 Things I hate about You - Cameron is a new student at Padua High School and Michael shows him around. Explains the division of clicks and passes on the information about the unavailable Stratford sisters. Thus giving the audience the same information.

Steel Magnolias - It is Annelle’s first day at the beauty pallor. As she is introduced to the characters and given bits of back story so are we.

3. Eavesdropping

Either a character, and thus the reader, is witness to other people talking or reads information that is given to the reader. The trap here is that it shouldn’t be coincidental. Make the eavesdropper struggle, plot, and swindle to get the eavesdropping chance. Then make the information misleading or hurtful to the character. Let there be a consequence or it will look too easy and stagnate to the reader.

Soap Operas use this all the time. Character A is speaking to Character B and Character C enters stage left but stops in the shadows and hears or sees A and B. Character C reacts and then leaves. They only get a portion of what happened or what was said and we know it means trouble.

4. Dreams/Internal Thought

This is only done well if in first person. First person allows the chance to put attitude and opinion in with the facts. The same rules apply; give information, entertain, and develop character. The only time I’ve liked the dream option has been in the Harry Potter books. They foreshadow what is going to happen but in an unexpected and twisted way.

5. Group Discussion

This has aspects of the tour guide mode but the participants already have an established history and group language. When Cindy complains about Doug, no one else needs the reminder that Doug is her brother.

Sex in the City – Meeting at a central locale to swap info/gossip. Which was like what? Every episode.

Da Vinci Code (The Movie) – Robert Langdon is literally introduced to the audience.

6. Confetti

Write a full page of back story on each of your main characters. Then chop it up into little sentences and sprinkle it throughout the whole book like confetti. Purposely make it come out of order so the reader has to work to put the pieces back together.

Lethal Weapon – Martin Riggs

The Police Department’s Psychologist tells the audience that Riggs’ wife recently died. Riggs tells us he was in Special Forces during Vietnam. Then after a life and death situation with his new partner Murtaug, with the length of a yard and a pickup truck between them, Riggs whispers “I’m good at it. Killing. About the only thing I was ever good at. And I’m not crazy. Good night.” Bits and pieces, out of order.

Part 4 Clues for the Clueless – A Clue is, after all, a type of exposition.

Murder In the Grove

Wed, 16 Jan 2008 01:52:33 GMT

I'll have Exposition Part 3 up tomorrow but for now I wanted to point you all toward www.myspace.com/murderinthegrove. Several of the past and future Murder in the Grove authors are taking turns to post to the Murder in the Grove blog. This week it's Mario Acevedo talking about his Felix Gomez Vampire Detective Series.

We've got J.A. Jance, David Morrell and many more scheduled to blog in the coming weeks. Pop over and check them out.

To learn more about the conference it self or the wonderful contest (detailed critique and score sheet included) visit the website at www.murderinthegrove.com